Success or happiness?

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This is a question that I have struggled to come up with a good answer to in the past. It seems like there is a disconnect between these two concepts that exists in this world, especially in the West. Society creates this idea of success that is based on accolades and accomplishments. We are taught that grades are important. That money is important. That physical things are important. So we invest in careers that give us these things. We invest time and resources into lives that we think will make us successful. We get lost in this constant pursuit to fit into a definition that has been created, over time, by the people with accomplishments.

Time has shown that “winners” write history. Those who win help define what we know as success and have a large role in the collective definition, which is ultimately the result of competition. It becomes a self-iterating definition based on a small percentage of people that others seek to be like. It is an ever changing goal and constant chase to be successful. There is always pressure when competition becomes involved.

Most of the time the pressure to become successful will end up being a barrier to reach that evasive goal. Often times leading to burnout, depending on what level of success you are pursuing. Sometimes pushing ourselves to the point where we truly begin to lose ourselves and potentially fall into darkness. However, there are people who thrive in that pressure environment and can become the “success” that has been defined. For many, that point is never reached.

It is easy to get into the mindset that success will make you happy. It is a possibility that the idea of success and becoming successful can make you happy. But there is also the existence of numerous people who are successful, as defined by society, yet remain unhappy. They are still left with a void to fill and it creates this never ending pursuit of needing more. And it usually comes out as something along the lines of the following.

“I just need to become more successful and then I’ll be happy.”

I think that the whole idea is wrong when it comes to what we define as successful or what is considered to be a success. Success to me, boils down to the individual. More specifically, an individual’s personal definition of success. Yet we compare our successes to other’s successes, which tends to take away from the individual’s efforts. When in reality, it is different for everyone. We all have different goals. It will be a different path for everyone. Yet we follow what “successful” people do. We try to match and replicate their success. It can work for certain people, especially if the same version of success is the pursuit. There are definitely outliers to this scenario though, but I am more focused on the majority of people for this discussion. Thinking about success at a deeper level can change how we ultimately live here on earth.

How often do you reflect on what you consider to be a success for yourself?

From my observations, not enough people ask this question and it results in that situation that I mentioned earlier. A potential lack of fulfillment. A void. It comes down to your version of success versus the world’s. However, both versions can align with each other as stated earlier.

Now, let’s shift focus to the individual. The ability to take individual success into account allows for a better understanding of why you do what you do. It forces you to look into what you enjoy and do not enjoy. When we reflect, we are able to learn. To me, the possibility to incorporate happiness with success depends on the introspection and reflection regarding one’s own pursuit. Diving deeper into oneself often comes with realizations that were not present prior. It will refine your trajectory for success, possibly creating a change in the feelings about the concept as well. But we must think first, before we can make a change. So let’s do that.

Can happiness actually be the success we seek?

I believe that this is actually the goal for most people. To be happy versus being successful. This brings us back to the original question. If we can pursue happiness as our individual success, the connection between the two begin to align. The pursuit of success becomes the pursuit of happiness. I may not be an expert, but from personal experience, I believe I am a decent judge of what makes me happy. It may be idealistic, but life is about working towards those ideals that we hold. It will always be some sort of combination of happiness and success, due to the inability to reach the ideal. We control the combination of the two. We are capable of controlling and working towards changing our circumstances to align more with what makes us happy. I understand that this is not possible for everyone, but I think that it is still important to think about regardless. Maybe it is not a complete shift in mindset, but rather a partial shift. A progression. Maybe the shift is just finding one thing that makes you happy everyday. That is at least a good place to start.

A little happiness, becomes a little success. Those little things add up, and then they create momentum for us. I’d argue that the momentum is more mental than anything. If one can then direct that momentum into the pursuit of happiness, it will build upon itself. The pursuit of happiness naturally becomes more present in the mind. We pursue more things that make us happy. We pursue our individual definition of success versus the world’s. When we reach this point, the world begins to change and more happiness presents itself.

It is not going to be easy to change what we have grown accustomed to. It will require work on all of our parts. It will require work as an individual. It will require help from others. It will require humility and courage to step into unfamiliar territory. As humans, we have been blessed with the conscious ability to create change in our lives. To pursue a better version of ourselves. A happier version of ourselves. A version of ourselves that we enjoy. A version of ourselves that hopefully others enjoy. I hope that we can come together in this pursuit of happiness.

Find what makes you happy.